Family or Work? All of the above

"The philosopher Zeng said, 'Suppose that there is an individual who can be entrusted with the charge of a young orphan prince, and can be commissioned with authority over a state of a hundred li, and whom no emergency however great can drive from his principles:-- is such a man a superior man? He is a superior man indeed." [Analects 8:6]

Again, there is an another wide shift from the traditional idea of a parent/family, to that of today's parental and familial issues. But first, let us deal with the comparisons: In the Analects, the "charge of a young orphan prince" can be somehow related to the idea of having a child. While, the "authority over a state of a hundred li" (li here, according to the traditional Chinese language, is a unit of measurement, which somehow can be interpreted as the "area of influence"), it can be imparted as the work or the occupation of the parents, for particularly, in Ancient China. societal ruling and governmental ordering is the prominent occupation, especially of men.

Now, by having such interpretation, we can now see that what the Analects is claiming is that, the ideal man/woman is someone who can balance his/her affair in both family (especially of the child/ren) and work, which somehow justifies the idea that the reality of most of the parental issues nowadays is totally different from what it should be.

Most of the parents of today are dealing with such conflict between family and of work. These parents, cannot set their priorities accordingly which leads to melancholic impacts to one of the two (family and work), which according to the real case, it is mostly the child/ren who are greatly ignored and somehow forgotten because of the demand needed for the work of the parents. In other words, it is usually the work that is being prioritized by the parents, instead of their child/ren. Well, in their defense, they are just doing it for the good of their child/ren. But, is it really that good?

Well, studies show that it is not. Why? because of the very fact that they isolate their selves, physically, emotionally, -holistically! from their child/ren for them to focus on their work. Such isolation indeed, is justified to create snags in the child's part; it will make him mentally incompetent, depressed, pained, ruined, and more. Thus, making the child/ren's relationship with their parents remote from each other which makes up what psychologists refer as the "childhood wounds".

Now, going back to the traditional, ideal parent, for such is indeed ideal and a very good example for all the parents of today to follow. This is for the fact that they are preoccupied by both persisting issues of "family v.s. work". Such Analects then is for them to see what they ought do as parents, the very roots of the family, because as people of doubled-responsibility, both family and work, they must observe and prudently accept the consequences such responsibility offers. Whether it talks about emergency cases, even of work or family, one must be able to decide in accordance to his/her priorities; not only as the provider of the family, but also as the source of attention of the child/ren.